Chapter 33: Mistakes Made

"Professor, do you think Quan Qing'er is in mortal danger? Is her child at risk?" Lian Youyou’s eyes never left the tightly shut door of the emergency room.

Lu Ming gently took her hand in his, his palm warm, imparting a soothing strength that gradually transformed her restless heart into a tranquil mountain stream.

Lian Youyou knew well she was asking the obvious. After losing so much blood, it would be fortunate enough for Quan Qing'er to survive; how could the child possibly be saved?

Guilt flooded her heart. If she hadn’t used Quan Qing'er’s hand to exact revenge on Fan Chi and Qu Wuyan, Quan Qing'er wouldn’t have been beaten like this. If she hadn’t wasted so much time fighting with Qu Wuyan in a fit of anger, perhaps Quan Qing’er’s child could have been saved...

The light above the operating room went out, and nurses wheeled Quan Qing’er out.

Quan Qing’er’s eyes were closed, her face pale as paper, her lips devoid of color, an oxygen mask covering her mouth and nose.

Lian Youyou rose and asked, "Doctor, how is she?"

The doctor removed his mask, sighing with helplessness. "Her injuries are too severe. We couldn’t save the child, and to preserve her life, we’ve had to remove her uterus."

...

Her uterus removed...

That meant Quan Qing’er had forever lost the chance to be a mother.

The nurses pushed Quan Qing’er to the ward. Lian Youyou collapsed onto the floor, unable to utter a single word, her body trembling with sobs. "Qing’er, I’m sorry... I’m so sorry..."

Lu Ming sighed, his heart aching for her. He cupped her cheeks in his hands, gently wiping away her tears.

"Professor… Have I… done something wrong?" Lian Youyou looked up at Lu Ming, her eyes shining bright through the veil of tears.

Lu Ming comforted her softly, "This isn’t your fault..."

"It is my fault… It’s all my fault!" Lian Youyou buried her head in Lu Ming’s embrace, her voice hoarse from crying. "It’s all because of me. I shouldn’t have used her like this..."

Even if Quan Qing’er was wrong for being the other woman, what fault was there in the child?

That little life hadn’t even opened its eyes to see the world, yet it had been innocently swept into their silent war, becoming its greatest casualty.

Had she done wrong?

Qu Wuyan had caused her death; she hated Qu Wuyan, saw Fan Chi and Qu Wuyan as unforgivable villains.

But what about herself? Now, she had indirectly caused the death of Quan Qing’er’s child. Was she not also a villain, guilty of heinous crimes?

Even if vengeance was achieved, even if Fan Chi and Qu Wuyan received the punishment they deserved, what was the point? Her daughter would still not return, and she herself would never go back to the past.

Even if she truly could return, what would change? Could anything be different? She had been foolish before; would dying once make her wise now? Surely, it would only mean returning to her former foolishness once again.

The wheels of history roll ever forward, never granting the chance to alter the past.

All she could do was cherish the present, treasure those before her.

"Lu Lu, thank you..." Lian Youyou leaned into Lu Ming’s arms, her voice muffled.

Lu Ming, sensing her gaze, looked down at her, his eyes suddenly gentle. "Why thank me?"

If he heard correctly, she had called him ‘Lu Lu.’ Whenever she called him that, he felt a closeness between them.

"Thank you for letting me feel love in this strange world."

"Silly girl," he ruffled her soft hair, "Come, I’ll take you home. I’ll hire a caregiver for Quan Qing’er."

Lian Youyou wanted to say more, but Lu Ming had already pulled her up and led her out of the hospital’s outpatient building.

...

With practicum classes finished and all final exams endured, Lian Youyou welcomed the winter break and her internship period.

Recently, Lian Youyou had been quite idle. Although several TV dramas had invited her to collaborate, they all wanted her to play the naive, sweet best friend to the female lead in idol dramas, so she refused them all. With no good scripts and no announcements, she stayed at Lu Ming’s home, learning to be a good wife and mother.

If asked what it felt like to be Lu Ming’s girlfriend, Lian Youyou would sum it up: The past twenty-eight years were wasted.

In her first twenty-eight years, Lian Youyou had slept only with Fan Chi.

Kissing Fan Chi, she felt nothing—just lips pressed together without passion. In intimacy, her heart was unmoved. Their physical closeness relied entirely on her acting skills to feign excitement.

Once, she believed such acts between men and women were merely routine for the sake of procreation.

But Lu Ming’s arrival gave her a whole new understanding.

It wasn’t just bodies; even souls intertwined. Not only kisses—even his mere touch of her hand sent a thrilling jolt through her.

With Fan Chi, three times a month felt too much; she found it exhausting, lengthy, and dull, causing Fan Chi to complain she was too cold and boring.

With Lu Ming, three times a day felt too little—of course, provided her stamina allowed it.

Though it was winter break, Lu Ming had not slowed down, leaving early and returning late every day.

Lian Youyou never doubted him, for Lu Ming never avoided her when calling. Even when he showered, he left his phone and wallet casually on the bed.

So what was Lu Ming busy with?

Despite no suspicion, Lian Youyou was quite curious.

Recently, under Lu Ming’s guidance, she had become enamored with the game Chronicles of the Rivers and Lakes. Whenever bored, she played it, sometimes even helping Lu Ming’s account with daily tasks.

One day, Lian Youyou finally received the script she’d been most satisfied with in nearly a month—a historical drama.

"Youyou, this script is indeed good, but whether you want to accept it is up to you," Richard, as always, respected her opinion. "Because this drama..."

Richard glanced at Youyou, who was engrossed in the script, hesitating.

"What about this drama?" Lian Youyou looked up and asked.

Richard replied, "The female lead has already been cast—Fan Xiaoyun. I know you and Yunyan have a history with Fan Xiaoyun, so I’m saying, take it or leave it—it’s your choice."

Another ten minutes passed as Lian Youyou quickly read through the script. "This script is well-written. Why shouldn’t I take it?"

She was a professional actress; she wouldn’t reject a good script just because Fan Xiaoyun was the lead.

Besides, she had decided to set aside her grudges for now. As long as Fan Xiaoyun didn’t pick a fight, she wouldn’t provoke her either.

Richard pulled out a cigarette case and lighter, opened the case, and with a slight tremor, flicked out a cigarette.

"Richard, my boyfriend doesn’t smoke. He dislikes the smell. Smoke on the balcony," Lian Youyou stopped him just as he was about to light up.

"Oh, you should have told me earlier. I won’t smoke," Richard replied, a bit embarrassed.

Richard glanced toward the study. The door was open, Lu Ming’s desk strewn with files, computer screen lit, looking very busy indeed.