Chapter Twenty-One: Seeking the Feeling

"I can't just give up—what else can I do!" Once he let go of his worries, Chen Cao felt a strange sense of relief, and wiped his hands—already indistinguishable as blood or mud—on his body.

For his life, everything had happened too swiftly, so fast it made it hard to breathe.

Duan Tianya sat on the ground, gazing at the morning sunlight, not immediately answering Chen Cao's question. Instead, he squinted.

"Chen Cao, aren't you at all shaken by Hei Kui's death? Have you never wondered why I, in my comrade's final moments, left him by your side?"

"No, I've never thought about it!" Chen Cao replied without hesitation, though his muddied hands slowly curled into fists.

"Good!" Duan Tianya suddenly laughed, a laughter that made the surrounding branches tremble, startling birds in the forest to scatter skyward.

"Chen Cao, I promised you: if you want to leave, you can do so now. But do you really think you can go back?"

Duan Tianya's gaze sharpened. He let his sword sheath hang low, staring at Chen Cao, his eyes as lively and intense as the morning sun, as if he could see through him entirely. Chen Cao trembled under that scrutiny.

"I..." Chen Cao retreated several steps, stammering, "Why—why wouldn't I be able to go back?"

He looked at Duan Tianya, at his prosthetic, at the ancient sword in his hand, and realized his own nervousness.

Duan Tianya rose from the ground. "Chen Cao, I see your heart. It's filled with fear and inferiority. You try to hide it, but you can't conceal that fear. You have the heart of a strong man, but you let fear bury you. You could have been a tiger, but you turned yourself into a cat. You worry too much about life, so you dare not walk your own path!"

Duan Tianya drew his sword; its brilliance flashed, his expression turning cold. "Do you know, Chen Cao, a year ago I could have let you train with Bao Li and the others. But you agreed only for friendship, right? You're afraid of loss; you cling to friendship because of your inner fear—you fear losing friends!"

Chen Cao stepped back again, but Duan Tianya drew another sword from the ground and tossed it to him. With a clang, the blade sank several inches into the earth, trembling with a joyful dragon's cry that made Chen Cao's head buzz.

"But all you wanted was to muddle through three years of training for peace of mind. So I held back what I wanted to say that day until today, a year later. I didn't want that—you are my personally chosen seed, an outstanding warrior, destined for greatness. Come, pick up the sword, release your inner longing, conquer your fear!"

Duan Tianya raised his sword, slowly swinging it, its light dazzling Chen Cao's eyes.

"For a year—for a year: buckets, brooms, rags, classmates' scornful sneers..." All those scenes flashed before Chen Cao's eyes. He had thought himself numb to it all, but under Duan Tianya's relentless questioning, he felt shaken.

"Chen Cao, pick up the sword. Are you really a coward? Are you less than a dog? Have you no soul? Remember your father, your uncle, your family—they are heroes. Why can't you be one? Your heart longs to be a hero, yet you let their brilliance overshadow you. Do you have no sense of honor?"

Sword in hand, Duan Tianya strode step by step toward Chen Cao, pressing him with questions, each like a hammer striking the dust-laden heart within him.

"Chen Cao, a year of classmates' disdain and indifference—has that not been enough for you to reflect? When will you let go of your inferiority? Do you think their attitude is personal? Though you've become numb, you hate it deep down. Don't you wonder why? They dislike you because of honor—heroic unit honor. Come now, raise your sword. Let honor overcome fear and inferiority, conquer everything!"

With these words, Duan Tianya swept his sword forward, lightning-fast, thrusting at Chen Cao.

Clang! Accompanied by a dragon's cry, the sword tip pierced Chen Cao's brow, blood trickling down drop by drop.

Chen Cao stood motionless, staring straight at Duan Tianya. His hands gripped the blade tightly, unmoving, but his gaze had gained a calmness.

"Excellent, very good!" Duan Tianya released the sword. He knew that if he twisted it slightly, Chen Cao's fingers would be severed. Yet Duan Tianya was satisfied, for he knew that from today, this boy would never let go of his weapon again.

He had erupted in silence. Deep within him, the seed that resisted fear had begun to sprout.

Duan Tianya smiled, looking at the rising sun, smiling as he breathed deep and said, "Now, can we have a proper conversation?"

Chen Cao tossed the sword, then caught the hilt with precision. His expression remained unchanged, but his bloodied fingers gently traced the two archaic characters on the hilt as he slowly replied, "Of course. But I don't understand—shouldn't such an antique be in a museum? Why do you have it..."

...

The crescent moon hung in the sky, shining on the two ancient swords planted in the soil.

The moonlight was faint, but enough for Chen Cao to see Duan Tianya's face—a face weathered and, in the night, somewhat frightening.

He’d known Duan Tianya for some time now, though they'd rarely interacted; from Bao Li and Zhou Hongye, he'd heard of the glorious history of this Republic hero before him.

He’d never sat so quietly for so long. The environment tonight was tranquil, so silent that he could hear his own heartbeat.

Hours had passed, the two sitting together in silence, saying nothing. His legs were numb, but after a while, the discomfort faded.

Yet his inner restlessness caused a flicker of uncertainty deep inside. At that moment, Duan Tianya opened his eyes.

"Have you ever sat for so long?" If one ignored Duan Tianya's face and judged only by his voice, his slightly magnetic baritone would make one imagine him as a handsome man.

That was Chen Cao’s fleeting thought. Hearing Duan Tianya speak, he nodded honestly—just a slight movement, and he inhaled sharply, for his numb legs, now regaining sensation, sent a tingling rush to his heart.

"It's a bit uncomfortable. When I was young, I was like you—not fond of stillness, loved activity, so I chose the noisy battlefield. But do you know what a battlefield truly is?"

Chen Cao shook his head. Cold sweat trickled down his face, but he forced himself to remain seated. His knowledge of battlefields was limited to movie scenes.

Duan Tianya didn't press further. Instead, he laid a hand on his chest and smiled at Chen Cao. "Do you know what's inside here?"

This time, Chen Cao neither shook nor nodded. He realized he’d never had a chance to speak—because Duan Tianya seemed not to intend for him to say anything.

Duan Tianya said, "Chen Cao, there's a lion locked within your heart, longing to be freed. During your assessment, your heart rate was ten times a normal person's—the only one whose adrenaline surged a hundred times faster than anyone else, and who survived!"

Hearing this, Chen Cao suddenly grinned, showing his white teeth. "Old Duan, you really crack me up. Sure, I admit my heart wants release, but I don’t know what to release, nor can I find that feeling. But as for what you just said, I can't agree with that. Are you watching sci-fi, or reading supernatural novels?"

Duan Tianya’s hard-won smile vanished. "You don’t believe me?" He stood, pulled out a pistol, released the safety, and tossed it onto the ground. "Pick it up."

"What, you want a duel? I don’t know how to use a gun!" Duan Tianya's sudden seriousness sent a chill down Chen Cao’s spine. Though he’d been resigned to die, survival instinct kicked in.

Chen Cao hesitated, then felt a cold barrel pressed to his head. He swallowed hard.

"Pick it up. The safety's off," Duan Tianya commanded, pressing the gun harder against Chen Cao’s forehead.

"What—don't tell me you want me to shoot mosquitoes?" Chen Cao felt icy coldness at his brow, but a gun to the head was no joke. Duan Tianya’s unpredictable moods left him helpless. He bent down to pick up the gun, knowing that whether by words or force, he was no match for this man—a veteran soldier, officially rated as severely disabled.

Standing behind Chen Cao, Duan Tianya suddenly smiled like a child. "You’re pretty sharp. Yes, I want you to shoot mosquitoes!"

"Mosquitoes? You... you must be joking!" Faced with such madness, sweat broke out on Chen Cao’s hand holding the gun. Only now did he realize that Bao Li’s ‘god of war’ was an out-and-out lunatic.

"Shh!" Duan Tianya ignored Chen Cao’s wild thoughts, speaking softly. "Listen. Try to find the feeling."

...

Flame King 21_Flame King Full Free Read_Chapter 21: Finding the Feeling—update complete!

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