Exams are the absolute worst.

“The Sorceresses’ Selection Test begins! The Junior Guards will be tested first. Next, the Intermediate, and finally the Senior Guards!” A group of people had appeared on the viewing platform at some point, led by a woman holding a sheet of paper—probably a register of names. “Let’s welcome our judge, the second daughter of the Grant family—Ida Grant!”

The second daughter stepped forward with measured grace. She had flowing pink hair adorned with an enormous bow that looked as if it might topple off at any moment. Her pink dress and high-heeled shoes failed to fully capture her fantastical princess charm, and somehow, in this sunless hall, she still wielded a pink lace-trimmed parasol with serene composure.

I... I can’t believe this. Twice in a single day my worldview has been shaken to its core. Have I crossed into a world where Mary Sues run rampant? How did I not notice this before?!

The crowd stared, dumbfounded by her “charms,” and the second daughter gave a “captivating smile.” “Let’s begin! Whoever wins can get up close and personal with me~”

I pressed my hand to my mouth, afraid I might burst out laughing. Just when I’d thought my beautiful companion was the peak of narcissism, the second daughter had shattered that illusion, ascending to heights I didn’t think possible. Truly, a master of shamelessness for the new age.

The Junior Guard test was laughably simple—anyone who could knock down the target in the center with a waterball spell would pass.

We lined up in the order we had entered the room. I stood behind my beautiful companion, who herself was behind another. The first up was a tall girl with black eyes. With a calm expression, she summoned a giant waterball and hurled it straight at the target. With a resounding crack, it struck dead center and split the target in two.

Wow, impressive! We all thought it, myself included. My face showed amazement, but inside, I was puzzled. That waterball spell was intermediate level—so why was she participating in the junior test?

The capable girl finished her performance, gave a slight bow to the crowd, but her gaze was fixed on the second daughter up in the stands. The second daughter, noticing, waved sweetly in reply.

The next contestant, clearly unnerved by her predecessor’s brilliance, missed three times in a row; one waterball even nearly hit the second daughter. Red-faced, she made one final attempt and—smack!—hit the slender support rod holding up the target, sending a spray of water everywhere like a manmade fountain. She fled the stage in embarrassment, forgetting even to bow.

The next few contestants faded into obscurity under the brilliance of those two extremes—some passed, some failed, but none were memorable. The only exception was my beautiful companion. With a casual flick, her waterball hit the very base of the target. It toppled over in a perfect ninety-degree arc—clean and efficient. If not for the first girl’s dazzling display, surely my companion’s performance would have stood out.

Then it was my turn. I walked up slowly. Waterball spells were never my specialty, but I believed that where there’s a will, there’s a way. I was perfectly relaxed, and with a wave of my hand, I summoned an utterly average, basic waterball and sent it obediently toward the target. Unsurprisingly, it lacked any explosive force; the target didn’t even tremble.

But I wasn’t worried. I closed my right hand into a fist and whispered an incantation. The waterball, which had already burst into droplets and was falling, suddenly froze midair. With a series of crisp, crackling sounds, the water began to solidify into ice over the target.

Remaining composed, I threw another waterball. Sunlight streaming through the windows reflected off the newly formed ice, making it almost blinding. No one noticed the little black speck hidden inside my waterball as it hit the target.

Crack... boom! The target shattered into fragments that clattered to the floor.

Success! I breathed a quiet sigh of relief and offered a distant bow to the second daughter, about to retreat when someone interrupted me.

“The eldest miss has arrived!” boomed a deep male voice. The small door on the viewing platform opened, and a dignified woman entered, her hair coiled atop her head, hands folded before her, footsteps light and face gentle. Everyone hastily saluted her. She returned the gesture with measured calm.

“Continue the test,” the male voice intoned again. As if waking from a dream, the crowd hurried to resume.

I slipped quietly offstage and joined my beautiful companion, who gave me a sidelong glance. “Who would’ve guessed—despite being a little old, you do have some talent.”

Several dark lines appeared above my head. “Oh, I wouldn’t dare compare my petty tricks to your beauty, grace, efficiency, and lasting impression!” My words had lost all logic under the weight of embarrassment, but my companion seemed delighted, turning away with a haughty huff and refraining from any further jibes.

Soon, the Junior Guard trials concluded. On the viewing platform, the eldest miss gazed gently at the second daughter. “Anyone you fancy, little sister?”

This isn’t a husband selection—who’s she supposed to fancy? I grumbled internally but kept my expression docile.

The second daughter beamed sweetly. “Of course, sister! When have I ever lacked taste?” With a nod to her servant, who held a sheet of paper, she sent him scurrying to the center of the platform.

“Ahem.” The servant cleared his throat solemnly before announcing: “Spring is a season of sowing, of hope, of intoxication! In this March, under the leadership of the eldest miss, the care of the second miss, and the blessings of the third miss, the 127th Grant Family Junior Guard Assessment has concluded in success! First, allow me to represent all the contestants in thanking the eldest, second, and third misses for this opportunity. Then, let me also thank, on their behalf, the master of the house, who tirelessly contributes to the family—”

Ah, ah, ah... Already weary, everyone felt exhaustion wash over them. Yawns spread, eyelids drooped at the rate of a millimeter per second. My companion’s head bobbed forward in a chicken-pecking motion... until a nearby vibration startled her awake.

Glancing over, she saw me trembling, eyes brimming with tears, cheeks flushed.

“What’s with you? Are you sick?” she asked, puzzled.

“Do you know,” I replied, still emotional, “the last time I heard a speech like that was ages ago—when the sky was blue, the grass was green, the world had seven continents and four oceans, forests didn’t spit out monsters to swallow you whole, and magic existed only in novels...”

Her confusion gave way to exasperation. She reached out to feel my forehead. “Has this girl lost her mind, or was she always like this and I just never noticed...?”

Perhaps out of compassion for our suffering—or perhaps simply overtaken by sleepiness—the eldest miss finally interrupted the ever-garrulous servant, who seemed ready to prattle on until the end of days. “Get to the point!”

“Yes, ma’am!” The servant, after all, was a Grant family retainer, and in the Grant family, nothing outweighs the word of the masters. Reluctantly, he wiped his mouth and announced, “The lucky chosen ones are—Jane Lu, Nock, So-and-so, and Aisha! Will the selected please come forward!”

My beautiful companion grabbed my hand in excitement as we walked up. I asked curiously, “What’s your name—Jane Lu or Aisha?”

Her face darkened. “Hmph! A name’s just a code. Why ask?”

I realized. “Oh. Um, can I ask why, though?”

She scowled blackly. “That old fool said giving a girl a boy’s name brings good luck, and that the second child would surely be a boy! May he never have a son as long as he lives!”

Listening to her grind her teeth in rage, I vowed never to utter the name Nock in her presence for the sake of my own wellbeing.

The tall, black-eyed girl stepped onto the stage and stood silently. But the last person still hadn’t appeared.

Everyone looked around, but no one moved. The servant double-checked the list, sweating profusely, but found no mistake. All he could do was call out, “Aisha? Aisha? Aisha?”

After a while, finally, someone entered at the gate. She walked as if burdened with a thousand weights, hands clasped nervously. I looked closely—it was the girl who’d barely managed to hit the target after multiple tries, and with no power at that!

Aisha stepped awkwardly onto the stage and asked the second daughter in a small, embarrassed voice, “Second miss, um, did you get my name wrong? I...”

The second daughter, who’d just been smiling, abruptly dropped her expression. “Are you questioning my judgment?”

Aisha grew even more flustered. “No... no, I...”

The onlookers began to whisper. The eldest miss, Erica, couldn’t help but interject, “Ida, why did you choose her?”

Ida instantly reverted to her sweet smile, fluttered to her sister’s side, and nestled against her. “I thought you knew me best, sister! Turns out you don’t know everything.” She cast a proud glance at her chosen ones. “Of course, it’s because they’re all beautiful!”

Is that even allowed? Thank you, mother, for this face... My worldview, my values, my very soul felt pulverized.

Erica seemed powerless against her sister’s antics, only sighing softly. “Is this really your decision?”

“Yes!” Ida replied with unshakable confidence.

“Very well. Jane Lu, Nock, So-and-so, and Aisha”—Erica’s tone was grave—“Welcome to the Grant family!” All the Grant family members present echoed in unison, “Welcome to the Grant family!”

The whole scene was so grand it might as well have been a movie. I tugged at the still-embarrassed Aisha’s sleeve. “Doesn’t this feel like the VIP treatment at a luxury hotel? Now I can say I’ve experienced it, too~”

Aisha blinked, then, realizing I was joking, allowed a small smile to tug at her lips—a smile that said, Don’t worry.

Whatever the case, the Junior Guard test was finally over.

Caring nothing for the later rounds, I lay in bliss on my little bed, hugging my brand-new uniform and wooden wand. My beautiful companion, by contrast, was less than thrilled. As I rolled with joy, she disdainfully tossed the Grant family’s standard linens aside, replacing them with her freshly purchased, patterned set.

Thus passed our first comfortable day at the Grant estate. I sat on my companion’s new sofa, eating food she’d bought, with an extra-thick mattress (having reclaimed the discarded bedding for my own bed). It was comfort itself. As for the strange man who might still be waiting out front with an expression like I owed him money—he could go hang for all I cared! It had been ages since I’d enjoyed myself so much.

Stardust Chronicles 003_003: I Absolutely Hate Exams—End of Update!