Chapter 113: The Fiery Dance

“Honored guest... please stay here and help us defeat Konoha. We will welcome you with the most passionate customs of the Wind Country,” Granny Chiyo bowed deeply to Shiraki.

“That is precisely the purpose of our journey,” Shiraki returned the bow, though inwardly he thought: Granny Chiyo is quite the old fox, never once mentioning payment. Passionate customs? Could they possibly outshine the lively performances at the Love Dance House? Could you even get Yokura to perform a hot dance for me?

Well, that wouldn’t be impossible...

...

The desert’s unique bonfire night ignited within the long-suppressed Sunagakure camp, bringing a rare sense of ease to the Sand ninja.

The feast was the highest standard—a full camel banquet. Poor Afei cried bitterly; they hadn’t even explained what it felt like to relieve oneself in the cactus before being dragged away to slaughter.

Shiraki was equally intrigued. The camel’s belly was stuffed with sheep, the sheep’s stomach packed with chickens and ducks, and inside them, fish. Then, roasted over blazing fire and sprinkled with rich spices, the aroma was simply exquisite.

“To welcome our honored guest’s arrival, I’ve specially opened a barrel of cellar-aged wine bestowed by the Daimyo himself. Someone, please bring a luminous cup for His Excellency the Seer,” Rasa gestured into the darkness.

In a swift motion, a shadow leapt from the darkness—a member of the Anbu wearing a fox mask. In the blink of an eye, they swapped the cups and poured the wine before vanishing into the shadows again, every move impeccably precise.

“Impressive flair!” Shiraki almost applauded, considering whether he should get an Anbu to serve him drinks to elevate his own style. Unfortunately, Mujin Town was full of rough folk; perhaps the elusive old man, blind as a bat, from Kōgitā could manage it.

But the Anbu’s wheat-colored hair reminded Shiraki of someone—Gaara’s uncle, Yakushimaru. If he wasn’t mistaken, it must be him. What could be more prestigious than having your uncle serve you? Perhaps only having your father-in-law at your beck and call.

“Please, enjoy,” Rasa raised his cup.

“Thank you,” Shiraki lifted the rhinoceros horn luminous cup, downing the deep red wine in one gulp.

Rasa was about to pour another.

“Much obliged, Lord Kazekage, but the three ninja precepts constantly remind me not to drink to excess,” Shiraki declined with a slight nod.

“His Excellency’s discipline commands respect. I shall have someone bring you fresh camel milk,” Rasa smiled and nodded. Young men with such self-control were rare these days.

“You make a convincing act... If I hadn’t seen you guzzling wine at the tavern, I might’ve been fooled,” Nonou muttered with a smirk.

The fragrant roasted camel meat, tender stewed pine chicken, and delicious roasted fish were all served on pure gold plates.

Who said Sunagakure was poor? Damn, this was a group of desert billionaires! Shiraki nearly wished he could devour the entire plate.

And indeed, someone did.

Tsumuji, who usually never ate, made an exception today. He untied the thread binding his mouth, opened wide, and swallowed three dishes along with the plate in one gulp, belching heavily afterward.

Such a huge plate of roasted camel hump! All gone in one bite!

“Apologies... my protector comrade has rather crude table manners,” Shiraki hastily apologized.

Rasa was speechless. Is that crude table manners? If it’s crude manners, why don’t you go eat dirt? This is gold! These golden utensils were for show, meant to be smashed and used in battle later; never did he imagine someone would swallow them whole.

With wine and meat, how could there be no song and dance? Luckily, the desert people were among the best at singing and dancing.

A group of young men danced tap around the bonfire. The lively rhythm and passionate melody, however, failed to spark any real interest.

“I heard the desert dancers of the Wind Country...” Shiraki’s attempt to hide his true nature as a lecher quickly failed; he whispered.

“Ahem... If this were the Daimyo’s mansion, I would certainly invite His Excellency the Seer to experience the desert dancers’ fiery passion... but this is a military frontline camp...” Rasa nearly choked on Shiraki’s words.

“If Lord Shiraki wants to see, then even Fū can dance,” Fū whispered into Shiraki’s ear. She slipped into a tent and emerged wearing a sheer, translucent veil.

When Fū appeared, everyone automatically stepped back, making way for the most dazzling spot in the firelight.

She twirled, the veil fluttering around her as she danced gracefully. Her limbs, exposed beyond the sheer fabric, were even more tender and fair than the camel milk in the cup. Her waist swayed with supple elegance, as if boneless. Bells tied to her ankles jingled melodiously with every tiptoe step.

“Wonderful~” Shiraki felt the seductive glances Fū occasionally threw his way, nearly lifting the oil lamp on the table to drink from it.

No wonder heroes throughout history have struggled to resist beauties—the feeling was simply exquisite. Though thinking of Fū’s doll-like nature spoiled the moment somewhat.

The bells chimed crisply, releasing a deadly temptation. The crowd on the clearing finally exhaled after holding their breath so long, making one wonder if they might suffocate a cow.

“Shameless!” Nonou and Yokura simultaneously spat, their breath tinged with resentment.

Shiraki flicked Nonou on the forehead: “She dances, and you call her shameless? If she gets offended and stops dancing, you’ll go down and dance for me!”

Nonou rolled her eyes, staying silent.

“Young people these days...” Granny Chiyo sighed, then shifted tone, “Not as good as when I was young.”

Nearby, Ebizō’s slitted eyes widened more than ever in his life.

“Isn’t that so!” Granny Chiyo kicked him playfully.

“Yes, yes, sister is always right,” Ebizō nodded perfunctorily.

“After all, sister was known as the ‘Immortal Flower of the Desert.’ Hohohoho...” Granny Chiyo laughed heartily, covering her mouth.

After three dances and three rounds of drinks—

“Ahem, His Excellency the Seer... shall we get down to business?” Rasa cleared his throat twice.

“Yes, yes, business... What was it again? Oh, I remember now.” Shiraki finally tore his gaze from Fū and produced several exquisitely bound black calfskin books, edged with gold thread—solemn and dignified.

“These are the holy scriptures of our Balanced Sect, embodying love and peace, spreading the light of love throughout the ninja world. This is also the purpose of my visit. Please, I ask everyone to study them thoroughly through the night.” Shiraki distributed the “holy scriptures” one by one, including to Yokura and even Maki, who hadn’t spoken to Shiraki before.

“Hm... It’s good to read the scriptures, but why did you give me five copies when I’m alone?” Rasa was puzzled.

“Here: one for Karura, one for Temari, one for Kankuro, and one for your unborn child,” Shiraki had even accounted for the future baby.

Ten years is a long time; I must figure out how to buy the manga adaptation rights from Intimacy Paradise and sell it to the children—hehe, a brilliant plan.

“You even know Karura is pregnant?” Rasa’s eyes widened.

“Under the watchful gaze of the Cthulhu God’s eye, I know all,” Shiraki said with a sacred expression.

“Alright... business then,” Rasa reluctantly believed the odd claim.

“Please, Lord Kazekage, speak,” Shiraki nodded.

“To be frank... we are close to defeat,” Rasa had to admit the grim truth.

“My purpose here is to turn your fortunes around, but please, Lord Kazekage, explain the situation in detail.”

Shiraki felt the downturn in morale as soon as he entered the camp. The low spirits were palpable, evident on every face—like walking corpses with no spark of life.

How can a force without spirit win?

“Orochimaru... that despicable viper, an utterly shameless snake, is truly ruthless...” Rasa cursed for ten minutes before continuing. “We fight in the desert, and the most vital supply is fresh water. We used to rely on the desert’s many oasis springs—more than enough…”

“The damn Orochimaru poisoned every oasis spring... snake venom, arsenic, rotting corpses... the desert animals are nearly wiped out. Bastard. We’re left with only this last small oasis. The spring’s flow isn’t even enough to drink. To save water, we haven’t washed our faces for a month!” Rasa gnawed his teeth and spat hatred.

“No wonder everyone looks so filthy—just a lack of fresh water can do this...” Shiraki had to admit, with Minato Namikaze and the Ino-Shika-Cho trio supporting him, Orochimaru single-handedly held off the Sunagakure invasion and even forced them back into the desert.

Though, seeing Fū’s still radiant appearance, she probably had a loyal admirer giving her fresh drinking water daily, while she drank bathwater in exchange.

“Ahem, is the new material ready?” Shiraki turned to Nonou.

“Stop rushing me! I’m already writing!” Nonou was furiously scribbling on the table, no need for Shiraki to remind her.

#Shimura Danzo orders Orochimaru to poison the oasis#

She had grown well—one glance and Shiraki knew exactly what to do. He patted Nonou’s head: “Hmm, a mature shooter must learn to find material on her own.”

Nonou puffed her cheeks, wondering why she, a dignified shrine maiden, had come to this.

“So, Lord Seer, only after solving this problem can we continue fighting,” Rasa sighed.

“Of course, the all-powerful Cthulhu General will solve every issue,” Shiraki smiled slightly.

No sooner had he spoken than the wine cup on the table began to tremble gently. Ripples spread across the surface, and the cheerful atmosphere abruptly ceased.

A gigantic serpent’s head emerged from the darkness, atop which stood a pale-faced young man with an icy smile.

“Hehe... Lord Kazekage, what a surprise to have a guest...” he sneered.

“Orochimaru!!!” Rasa ground his teeth in hatred.

Everyone was enjoying hotpot and singing. The atmosphere, finally warming up, was suddenly shattered by this intruder—who could not be angry?