Chapter 146: This Is the Time for a Joke.

“Excellent... It seems His Majesty the Emperor will not shed a tear until he has witnessed my absolute power. Then feel the majesty of the Dragon Vein!”

“Puppet Art: Dragon Vein Great Fireball!”

A gigantic purple fireball was spat from the puppet centipede’s mouth. Its searing energy distorted the air around it, far surpassing an ordinary Fire Release technique.

“Changing the name of a Great Fireball doesn’t stop it from being a Great Fireball. I’ll stand right here and let you hit me. If one fireball can kill me instantly, I’ll eat this sword on the spot!” Baiki declared arrogantly, folding his arms.

Kakuzu had originally intended to put up a Water Wall, but seeing how confident Baiki was, he decided not to ruin the man’s fun.

BOOM!!!!!

Trailing blazing violet flames, the enormous fireball slammed into Baiki and erupted into an endless sea of fire.

Baiki’s entire body was blown away. Everything below his waist vanished, leaving his backside hanging from a tree. His upper body was covered in burns, while the violet flames, burning at an astonishing temperature, continued to lick at his skin.

“For crying out loud... where was Banshee’s Veil...?” Baiki muttered, his face blackened with soot. He spat out a mouthful of blood, leaving only a sliver of health remaining. The story could end at any moment.

Could An Lushan have learned of his abilities in advance and deliberately devised a way to counter him? No, that was impossible. What method could deceive even the system?

“Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Loulan! Your emperor is dead! Ha ha ha ha...!” An Lushan roared with laughter.

“Dad, what are you doing? Honestly...”

Karin, her face full of disdain, flashed to Baiki’s side. She removed the Z-Shaped Spacetime Driver from her waist, stuffed it into his hand, and helped him press the button.

Bzzzzzt...

Space and time warped. Everything around them froze as though someone had pressed a pause button. Baiki’s body began rapidly rewinding. His shattered lower half reassembled itself from the tree, while his charred skin quickly returned to its original pale complexion.

[Spacetime Fracture]

[Consumes a variable amount of spacetime energy to restore the body to its state four to ten seconds earlier.]

Baiki came back at full health.

“Good grief, you scared me half to death. It felt like a dream.”

His chest heaving rapidly, Baiki hurriedly pulled open his trousers and looked down.

Phew... Thank goodness all the important parts were still there.

“Dad, what were you thinking just now? The Sands of Time are almost gone. I’ll have to stay for even fewer days, and I still wanted to see Mom when she was young.”

Karin pouted as she shook the Z-Shaped Spacetime Driver. The green hourglass inside had already decreased by a quarter.

“Wait...”

Baiki quickly opened the system and checked what had happened to his Banshee’s Veil.

[Banshee’s Veil: Inactive]

[Thornmail: Inactive]

[Mercury’s Treads: Functioning Normally]

“What the hell?!”

“What happened? System, are you bugged?” Baiki bellowed. He had nearly died!

[How could two identical items exist in the same spacetime?]

That was the system’s answer.

Baiki froze for a moment. He looked at Karin, then at the cross-shaped butterfly knot around her neck.

“Before I left, did I give you something?”

“You mean these? You gave them to me when I was very young!”

Karin rummaged through her clothes and pulled out a large pile of tiny badges.

Banshee’s Veil. Thornmail. Force of Nature. Warmog’s Armor. Guardian Angel. Frozen Heart.

Baiki nearly fainted when he saw them. Just how much had he spoiled this daughter of his? How could he have let her run around barefoot without even giving her a pair of shoes?

“I hate Thornmail the most. Whenever I wear it, none of my friends dare to play with me.”

Karin pouted unhappily.

“This one’s great! Any punk who dares touch you will get themselves stabbed to death!”

Baiki wholeheartedly approved. He even considered buying her a Sunfire Cape.

While they were still chatting, An Lushan was nearly beside himself with rage. His hundred-meter-long body trembled violently.

“Princess... I had no intention of killing you, but you have ruined my plans again and again. In that case, you may as well die with the rest of them!”

The giant puppet centipede opened its enormous jaws once more. Violent energy gathered within its mouth, and an even more colossal pillar of flame blasted forth.

“Puppet Art: Dragon Vein Supreme Flame Technique!”

“Future Dad told me not to interfere too much in battle, because it might affect the balance of spacetime.”

Karin retreated to the rear of the group.

“Of course. No matter when it is, Dad will always stand in front of you.”

Baiki turned back and gave Karin a loving smile worthy of a devoted father.

“My little one has grown up, but her mother can’t keep falling behind either! Let Tobi cry for you!”

Tobi, who had only just recovered his energy, was moved to tears and adhered himself to Baiki’s body.

What an extraordinary family...

Everyone shook their heads helplessly.

“Wind Barrier!”

Another even broader wall of wind swept out from the Gale Sword. It was as magnificent as a waterfall cascading from the heavens, and it firmly blocked the torrent of violet flames.

With the wind feeding the fire, the violet flames grew even more ferocious, surging high into the air. The brilliant glass adorning the surrounding towers showed faint signs of melting, yet the flames still could not break through the seemingly thin, translucent barrier.

“Look closely. This is me when I get serious. Now, who’s the real daddy?”

Baiki held the sword horizontally. Its mirror-bright blade reflected his utterly solemn eyes as he waited for the flames to die down.

Infused with enough chakra to sustain it for a full thirty seconds, the wind wall began to sway precariously, on the verge of collapse. Yet the dark-violet flames pouring from An Lushan’s giant puppet form showed no sign of stopping. If anything, they grew even more violent.

“What is this? Even if he ate a whole plate of chili peppers last night, he shouldn’t be able to spew fire like this!”

Baiki frowned. Judging solely by its Fire Release, this attack had already surpassed Madara Uchiha’s Great Fire Annihilation. There was even something faintly reminiscent of a bloodline limit in those violet flames.

“Little one, didn’t you say you’d tell me a joke when we reached Loulan?” Tobi asked at the least appropriate possible moment.

“Oh, come on. Not now.” Baiki was in the middle of maintaining an intensely serious state.

“I want to hear one!”

Tobi acted coquettishly.

“All right... let me think. Do you know what gets pregnant most easily?”

Baiki considered the question.

“Ugh. That’s obviously one of Dad’s dirty jokes.”

Karin folded her arms and rolled her eyes, though she was secretly thinking about the answer.

“A camel?” Tobi guessed, thinking of the camel’s two humps.

“A centaur?” Karin offered, remembering the strange creatures in the picture books she had read as a child.

“Humans. Only humans can be in heat twenty-four hours a day, three hundred and sixty-five days a year.”

Nonou answered with professional seriousness.

“Money. Money makes money.”

Kakuzu delivered his utter nonsense with a perfectly straight face.

“You idiots! Does this family have even the slightest sense of danger? Is your brain made of twine?”

Feeling the air grow increasingly violent around her, Pakura thought, Apart from rats that can never be completely exterminated, what other animal reproduces this quickly?

“Are you people really shinobi? Or are you elementary school students out on a picnic? Think of something!” Maki roared.

“You’re all wrong.”

Baiki shook his head.

At that moment, the wind wall finally exploded apart. The utterly savage Dragon Vein flames swept toward them, warping the air wherever they passed. Everyone wanted to run, but they also wanted to hear the end of the joke.

“It’s a hedgehog.”

“Why?”

“Because it has lots of spikes on its back.”

...