Chapter Two: Be My Daughter

The Spiral White Zetsu truly seemed to be raising Bai Mu as his own child, doting on him endlessly. One moment, he summoned a wooden bed with his Wood Release; the next, he brought over a mountain of leaves for bedding. He even stealthily pilfered a wool blanket from Madara Uchiha’s old, aching legs to cover Bai Mu.

“Baby, come drink some milk~” Spiral White Zetsu squeezed out a drop of milky white liquid from his fingertip, waving it in front of Bai Mu’s eyes.

Bai Mu gazed at the mysterious liquid, his expression puzzled.

“This is your mother’s bodily fluid, you see, or you could call it my excretion. You’ve been drinking this since you were little; you must be hungry! Come, have a taste.” Spiral White Zetsu pressed his finger to Bai Mu’s lips.

“…When Obito was unconscious, he must have survived on this too. It’s not just me, it’s not just me…” Bai Mu comforted himself with deep breaths. If he wanted this withered body to recover its strength, he’d need plenty of nutrients. Even Orochimaru praised White Zetsu as a miraculous lifeform with extraordinary vitality—his bodily fluids had to be nutritious.

So, Bai Mu opened his mouth and began to suck on Spiral White Zetsu’s finger.

“Aah~” Spiral White Zetsu covered his face, feigning bashfulness, a rosy blush spreading across his cheeks as his legs squeezed together and a coquettish moan escaped his lips.

“Why are you blushing like a teapot about to boil?!” Bai Mu howled inwardly in exasperation.

After a few sips, Bai Mu’s stomach signaled fullness, and a faint strength returned to his limbs and bones. Nevertheless, it was still far from restoring normal mobility.

“Now that he’s awake, shouldn’t we put some clothes on him?” Spiky White Zetsu suggested.

Bai Mu realized he was lying practically naked, shivering with only a rag draped over him. Clearly, Spiky White Zetsu was the real mother here.

“You’re right. My child must be beautifully dressed. But the only clothes in this base are those shabby black cloaks. I’ll have to go out and find something proper.” Without another word, Spiral White Zetsu disappeared into the wall.

“Little Bai, little Bai… want some more of my juice?” Spiky White Zetsu coaxed, evidently only driving Spiral White Zetsu away to amuse Bai Mu.

Bai Mu rolled his eyes; he’d had enough.

“Little Bai, call me ‘Mommy’…”

“Little Bai, let’s play…”

“Little Bai, why aren’t you talking…”

…

Before long, Spiral White Zetsu reappeared, arms laden with clothing. And the clothes were indeed lovely… except… why were they women’s clothes?! They still bore traces of a young girl’s scent. Where on earth did Spiral “Mother” get these?

Paying no mind to Bai Mu’s feeble resistance, Spiral White Zetsu and Spiky White Zetsu forcibly dressed him in a pale pink cherry blossom kimono, all askew and ill-fitting.

“Wow! My child is so beautiful!” Spiral White Zetsu exclaimed, his face flushed with excitement.

“He doesn’t seem very happy,” Spiky White Zetsu observed, pointing at Bai Mu lying on the bed like a dead dog, numb and utterly bereft of hope.

“How could that be? He was just trembling with excitement!” Spiral White Zetsu protested.

“I was struggling,” Bai Mu thought blankly.

“Little Bai seems to be a boy. Is it really appropriate to put him in girls’ clothes?” Spiky White Zetsu mused, stroking his chin.

“Truly the real mother!” Bai Mu’s eyes brightened a touch.

“You’re right… I almost forgot,” Spiral White Zetsu slapped his own forehead.

“So can I take these off now?” Bai Mu thought helplessly.

“We should find some boys’ clothes instead.”

“But the boys’ clothes nearby are all so ugly…” Spiral White Zetsu said, scratching his head in distress.

“That’s true…”

“Then why don’t we just turn him into a little girl?” Spiral White Zetsu’s eyes lit up as a brilliant idea struck him. “Where are my scissors?”

“Mmm… mmm! Mmm… mmm!” Bai Mu thrashed madly, desperate to escape this madhouse—if he stayed, these two lunatic Zetsus would ruin him sooner or later.

“Look, look! He’s so happy he’s crying. Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon,” Spiral White Zetsu began searching for scissors.

“We’re not tailors; there are no scissors in the base,” Spiky White Zetsu shrugged.

“What a pity…” Spiral White Zetsu deflated like a pricked balloon.

Phew… Bai Mu breathed a sigh of relief. “No wonder you’re the real mother.”

“But Lord Madara has a sickle. It’s a bit old, but still sharp.” Spiky White Zetsu grinned wickedly.

“That’s brilliant!” Spiral White Zetsu had already swiped the sickle from Madara.

“Mmm… mmm! Mmm… mmm!” Bai Mu struggled like a madman.

“Move, move, move!” he screamed inwardly.

Yet with only five points of life energy, he was hardly more than a dying man—his feeble flailing was as futile as a last spasm before execution.

Spiky White Zetsu was already rustling as he began to undress him.

“Will my lifetime of honor end here…?” Bai Mu was nearly in despair, tears streaming down his face.

Suddenly, in that moment of despair, he remembered—he had a system! There were still 500 starting funds in the system, enough to buy a ruby to boost his life energy!

“System, quick, buy a ruby!” Bai Mu shouted frantically.

“Red Crystal: Increases life energy by 150 points, costs 400 gold.”

Ding…

A red gem appeared in his inventory, and a gentle warmth instantly flooded his body. His feeble form recharged in an instant, brimming with strength.

Life Points: 5 + 150 (Congratulations, you can now defeat an elementary schooler.)

“Spare my blue!” Bai Mu suddenly leapt up, clutching his precious parts a split second before Spiral White Zetsu’s sickle came down.

“…”

“…”

The dim underground cavern fell utterly silent, as if someone had pressed pause. Every scene was frozen at the instant the sickle was about to fall.

“Baby… did you just speak?” Spiral White Zetsu tilted his head, staring blankly at Bai Mu.

“He can move again…” Spiky White Zetsu also stared in a daze.

“Let me explain…” Bai Mu tried to reason.

“Yay, yay, yay! My child can speak!” Spiral White Zetsu rushed over, scooping Bai Mu up and lifting him into the air.

“He’s clearly a prodigy!” Spiky White Zetsu said, somewhat enviously.

…It was clear both Zetsus were unique, their thoughts worlds apart from ordinary people, sparing Bai Mu the trouble of explaining his sudden speech.

Like excitable children, Spiral White Zetsu quickly abandoned the idea of turning Bai Mu into a little girl, instead circling around him with delight, striking all sorts of comical poses.

Bai Mu looked down at the ill-fitting women’s kimono, sighed, and resigned himself. With no sane person around, cross-dressing was better than shivering under a rag.

Eyeing the still-glinting sickle, he straightened his clothes—the transformation was now complete.

A pale-faced, long-haired, thin-bodied girl now appeared in the underground cavern, her features bearing a faint trace of Hashirama Senju’s handsome visage, perhaps due to the experiment with Hashirama cells.

“Still not as good-looking as my past life… After all, I was the top extra at Hengdian Studios,” Bai Mu thought narcissistically, touching his face.

“Ding! Hidden achievement unlocked: Cross-dressing Master.”

“Reward earned: Enchanting Kiss (from the Nine-Tailed Fox Spirit, Ahri).”

“Note: A true man can bend or stand tall, destined for greatness. Should you ever prosper, remember your humble friends!”

“This… this… so that’s all it takes to unlock a hidden achievement?” Bai Mu stared, wide-eyed. So cross-dressing really did bring rewards.

“Enchanting Kiss: The caster delivers a hot, red-lipped kiss. The first enemy struck is subjected to a genjutsu and charmed, causing them to lose themselves and walk toward the caster, immediately halting any jutsu they are performing. Duration of the charm depends on the target’s willpower and the caster’s allure. Consumes 50 chakra.”

“Note: Works best with seductive movements while cross-dressing.”

“Note: Using it on someone of the same gender may cause vomiting; there is a 10% chance to trigger the ‘Enlightened’ event.”

“New hidden side quest unlocked: Tempt a named male character from the original story to cross-dress. Each success rewards 100 gold, no upper limit.”

“That’s… a lot to process. I need to sort this out…”