Chapter 24: Care to Hear a Joke?

Uzuki Yugao had reached her limit—her strength was almost spent, her arms so heavy she could barely lift her blade. Sweat beaded across her brow, and her lips were pressed together so tightly they’d turned white. Even with no hope of victory in sight, she refused to give in and fought on.

Moonlight Hayate was faring no better. His body had always been frail, his stamina and chakra pitifully low. Worse still, he’d stayed up all night reading "Make-Out Paradise." To have survived this long under Sanhao’s monstrous assault was testament to his iron will alone. Now, every breath he dragged in rasped like an old bellows, his mouth filling with the taste of blood.

“Is it... going to end here?” he wondered. “I haven’t even confessed my feelings yet… At the very least, Yugao has to get out alive...” Another blow from Sanhao sent Hayate crashing onto the boulder. Dazed, he watched as Yugao was knocked down by Tetsuishi’s brutal kick, her long sword poised to plunge into her heart.

A light, mocking voice floated down from a nearby treetop. “Hey, skinny dumb rabbit, have you seen my friend? Haven’t seen him in hours and I’m starting to miss him!”

“Taunt” activated!

“Rabbit? You’re the rabbit!” Tetsuishi, already seething, grew even more incensed. He abandoned the Konoha kunoichi he could have killed with a single blow, and instead charged at the masked newcomer, blade raised.

“Wow, that worked even better than I expected.” Hakugi was surprised his casual jibe had hit such a nerve; clearly, he’d struck a sore spot and now faced an enraged foe.

He’d come this time with a palpable sense of danger. Distress signals lit the sky everywhere, proof that many Konoha squads had fallen into Iwagakure’s ambushes—or perhaps, this whole operation was always meant to lure them out.

But what could you do? There were so many Iwagakure ninja, and Konoha was a village that championed love and the welfare of its people above all.

For the sake of his own skin, Hakugi had asked Afei to possess him, greatly boosting his strength so he wouldn’t get wiped out in a single blow. As for the rewards taking a hit—staying alive mattered more. He might be reckless, but he knew when to play it safe.

His current status: Vitality 1000+150+1500, Chakra 1000+1500.

His attributes now matched those of a chunin; even in a head-on clash, this Iwagakure chunin was no longer a threat.

“Afei, how do you think I should deal with him?” After merging, it was time for a proper conversation.

“Kid, beat him until he admits he’s the rabbit!”

“Not quite the answer I was looking for, but amusing.” A confident smile tugged at Hakugi’s lips.

“Die!” Tetsuishi’s swordsmanship, already wild and unrestrained, became even more erratic under the taunt. He swung his blade in a blind frenzy.

“Tsk. A rabbit should know its place—on the chopping block, waiting for the butcher’s knife.” Hakugi hefted his bloody cleaver and cast a condescending glance down.

“Contempt” activated.

He was only facing a regular Iwagakure ninja, so he didn’t bother crafting an elaborate preamble. The effect wasn’t as overwhelming as when he’d faced Lietu, but it was enough to make Tetsuishi shudder.

That look of absolute confidence—bordering on arrogance—was the mark of someone who had long stood at the top.

Bowed by fear, yet with no choice but to press forward, Tetsuishi attacked again. But his strikes were slower now, his footwork completely unraveled.

“Viral Cleaver”—thrown!

Snap! The “severed limb” effect triggered—a hand still gripping a sword hilt spun three times in the air before thudding to the ground.

With a howl of agony, Tetsuishi clutched his bleeding stump and collapsed before Hakugi, convulsing in pain.

“Now... who’s the rabbit?” Hakugi looked down at Tetsuishi, his words heavy with menace.

“I’m the rabbit... my parents are rabbits... my whole family’s rabbits...” Tetsuishi gritted his teeth, no longer caring about pride or vengeance.

A moment ago, he’d been so full of bravado. Now, he only wanted to live.

“Gahahahaha!” Afei’s wild laughter echoed.

“Sorry, but this time I’m with Konoha. Maybe next life you’ll get luckier.” On the battlefield, sparing enemies was a bad habit.

Wood Style: Thorns of Life Technique.

This was Afei’s power. Earlier, he had slipped a spore into the man’s mouth. Now, dozens of thorny vines bloomed from within, like roses, piercing every organ.

Tetsuishi fell silent and still.

“Wood Style is strong, but it’s best not to use it in front of Konoha ninja,” Hakugi thought, secretly pleased with his jutsu but still cautious. He’d have to dispose of the body later.

“NO! Tetsuishi!!” Sanhao, a human tank of a man, charged forward in a thunderous cloud of dust. His massive frame in no way slowed his advance.

“Careful, Hakugi! That guy’s got jonin-level strength—don’t go toe-to-toe with him... cough...” Moonlight Hayate shouted a warning.

“I may not have a brain or guts, but I’m not stupid—why would I trade blows with him?” Afei liked to steal Hakugi’s spotlight, which wasn’t a good sign.

Hakugi didn’t know the Body Flicker Technique, but his powerful leg muscles exploded with energy, propelling him swiftly to the side.

However, Sanhao’s charge wasn’t his only move. In a world where most ninja were assassins, brute-force skills rarely sealed the deal. Perhaps he’d had good teachers, because now, at the end of his charge, he unleashed a ranged attack.

Using his momentum, he swung his broad sword into the earth, prying up a massive boulder and hurling it at Hakugi. The roaring wind left nowhere to dodge.

What do you do when you face an unsolvable problem?

You shout, “Mom!”

And then you wait.

“Protecting my kid is my life’s greatest wish!” Afei clapped Hakugi’s hands together. “Ask and ye shall receive...”

“Wait! Use Earth Style, not Wood Style!” Hakugi cried.

“Such a bother... let me recall how Earth Style works...” Afei tilted his head, squatted, and traced symbols in the dirt.

Wood Style was a bloodline limit, a fusion of Water and Earth Styles. Hashirama Senju’s massive Yang energy made his Wood Style a living miracle, but regular Wood Style only reached the level of Yamato’s modest houses.

So breaking it down into Earth and Water Styles wasn’t impossible.

But...

Now was hardly the time to be figuring it out!

Hakugi howled inside, desperate to run—even a futile struggle was better than sitting here like a fool. But Afei had control of his body.

The boulder loomed overhead—one more second and his brains would be splattered for the sun to dry. Hakugi’s eyes filled with terror. “Afei... are you done yet? If you can’t manage, Wood Style will do...”

“Sorry, maybe because I don’t have a brain—when I try to think, all I come up with are jokes, not Earth Style. Want to hear one?” Afei grinned.

“Laugh at your own damn joke!” Hakugi roared.

But Afei simply melted their body into the earth.

The boulder crashed down where Hakugi had been, sending dust billowing skyward. Moonlight Hayate and Uzuki Yugao froze in shock, their eyes wide—was he gone just like that?

Earth Mayfly Technique—the first choice for murder, arson, and family vacations.

“Forget it... you can’t rely on single-celled organisms. I’ll do it myself.” Hakugi wiped the cold sweat from his brow and crawled out from behind a rock, his brain rattled by the shockwaves. Fortunately, the Earth Mayfly Technique wasn’t an obvious Wood Style move.

“From here on out... this one’s mine!” Hakugi flashed a confident smile.