Chapter Three: The Future Perverse Uncle Development System

"Tempt a male character with a name in the original story into wearing women's clothing, and you’ll receive 100 gold coins?"

"Isn’t this just luring me into a life of crime? I absolutely refuse to do such a morally bankrupt, depraved thing!" Bai Mu wore an expression of righteous indignation.

He had no desire to become the perverse old man who, after defeating some ninja in the Shinobi world, would force them into crossdressing.

"By the way... do two White Zetsu count as male characters?" Bai Mu shot a mischievous glance at the two cheap mothers.

"Kid! Call me Mama, call me Mama!" Uzumaki White Zetsu blinked expectantly at Bai Mu, his eyes full of hope, like a father waiting for his baby to babble "Daddy" for the first time.

"Mama..." Bai Mu had long since tossed aside any sense of shame.

"Yay, yay, yay! My child called me Mama, he called me Mama!" Uzumaki White Zetsu ran madly around the entire base dozens of times in his excitement.

"Mama... why aren’t you wearing clothes? Why not wear something pretty like mine?" Bai Mu tried to tempt White Zetsu—he was desperate for gold coins, after all.

Uzumaki White Zetsu froze on the spot like a statue.

"Because we’re artificial beings, we don’t have reproductive organs, so we don’t need to wear clothes. More importantly... we don’t feel shame," Spiky White Zetsu shrugged.

"Mama... wear pretty clothes like Bai Mu," Bai Mu mimicked the tone of a child.

"Alright, alright, I’ll go find some clothes right now!!!" Uzumaki White Zetsu, doting as a mother, instantly dove headfirst into the stone wall and disappeared.

Soon, Uzumaki White Zetsu returned with two sets of women’s kimonos—not in a girlish style, but a more mature cut.

"Even I have to wear this?" Spiky White Zetsu spread his hands.

"Yes, it looks good," Bai Mu nodded.

"The child has spoken—wear, wear, wear!" Uzumaki White Zetsu hurriedly slipped into the kimono, albeit clumsily.

Bai Mu helped the two White Zetsu dress. In the dim underground cavern, the two monstrous White Zetsu, clad in bright red kimonos—one faceless, with only swirling lines for features, the other covered in spikes—looked like a scene that would shred anyone’s sanity, perfect for a horror film without need for makeup.

"Ding, crossdressing temptation task completed."

"Since White Zetsu are genderless creatures, the two count for only 100 gold coins in total."

"Gold coins acquired: 100."

"Huh? That’s how it’s calculated? Still, 100 coins isn’t bad," Bai Mu felt no particular dissatisfaction.

"System, I bought the Ruby, so my life energy is now 155, already above an ordinary person. Why do I still look so scrawny?" Bai Mu tugged at his thin hair, which instantly fell out like willow fluff.

"That’s the difference between true life and additional life: 5 + 150—one is your base vitality, the other comes from your equipment. It’s like a human wearing an exoskeleton; no matter how tough the outer shell, the inside remains fragile. Don’t confuse the two."

"Also, does Teemo grow taller after buying equipment in the game? Does Swain’s limp get cured? Even if Xin Zhao boosts his defenses, he’ll still get sick if he drinks spoiled milk." The system replied with a hint of disdain.

"I see... So I really need to train myself, and while I’m at it, complete the oxygen tube task." Bai Mu glanced at Uchiha Madara. Even with Uzumaki White Zetsu making such a racket in the base, he didn’t stir at all; if not for the faint rise and fall of his chest, one could almost believe he was dead.

But if Madara wasn’t dead yet, then Obito likely hadn’t come here to be corrupted by darkness.

"Child, what do you want to do now? How about a lively family comedy full of laughs?" Uzumaki White Zetsu shouted excitedly.

"I’m going to exercise," said Bai Mu, and with the added life support from the Ruby, he began stretching his frail limbs as he explored the underground base.

On one wall, half a white human form was frozen in place, howling as if trying to break free.

"That’s a product of flesh cultivated from the First Hokage, Hashirama Senju. It’s alive, but has no consciousness. You were also grown from it," Uzumaki White Zetsu explained at his side.

Bai Mu pointed at a pile of White Zetsu bodies hanging from vines.

"Those are my kin—artificial beings full of jokes and fun too, but they haven’t been given consciousness by the main body yet. If you ever need them, just pick one," Uzumaki White Zetsu said.

Another wall was covered in ninja tools collected by Uchiha Madara: scythes, war fans, ninja swords, Fuma shuriken, chains...

Bai Mu picked up the war fan and waved it twice—so heavy it felt like solid metal, not something his 155 points of life energy could handle.

"That’s Lord Madara’s favorite weapon. You can play with it, but be careful not to damage it," Uzumaki White Zetsu warned, still a little afraid of Madara.

Bai Mu set the fan back in place and made his way to the most fearsome part of the underground base—the place beneath the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path, where Uchiha Madara lay.

After all, he still had a task to complete: to pull out the chakra-supplying tubes keeping Madara alive.

Madara was now so aged as to be almost unrecognizable. The deadly battles of the Warring States Era had left countless hidden injuries, now erupting all at once in his feeble old age.

Yet the ferocity of the tiger lingers after its death. Even reduced to little more than an empty shell, Madara still refused to lie in bed waiting for death like an invalid.

He still sat like a statue on the cold stone throne, breathing with all his remaining strength. Decay gnawed at his body, but who knew how much power he still harbored within. He was waiting for Black Zetsu to bring the chosen one to enact the resurrection plan.

Madara refused to die so easily. He would return, and create a true world of peace, to prove Hashirama Senju wrong.

Bai Mu stood before Madara, staring in silence for a long time.

"This is our master, Lord Uchiha Madara, the most powerful ninja in the entire shinobi world. Our existence is to be here for him, to bring some amusement to his dreary old age—though he often scolds us for our poor sense of humor," Uzumaki White Zetsu said, feigning dejection.

Bai Mu continued to stare at Madara’s aged features, lost in thought.

"Humans are so fragile. Even heroes like Lord Madara eventually end up like this. We artificial beings are better—not only do we not age, we’re even smarter than humans, have a greater vocabulary, and most importantly, a keener sense of humor!" Uzumaki White Zetsu boasted, thumbing his chest.

"Already over ninety years old, and still with such a mane... It’s enough to make anyone jealous," Bai Mu marveled at Madara’s lion-like mass of white hair.

"Hair... hair volume? Is that a new punchline? That’s what little Bai Mu is fixated on?" Uzumaki White Zetsu was momentarily stunned.

Bai Mu circled behind Madara, eyeing the three white tubes plugged into his back, with a liquid gurgling through them.

"Three oxygen tubes... If I pull one, he shouldn’t die, right?" Bai Mu pondered how to complete this wretched task.

Madara was completely dormant; no amount of noise would wake him.

He could pull a tube, but a person could only do that once in their life.

After pulling the tube, Madara would likely awaken—and a single glance from him could be fatal.

"Is there any way I can pull the tube and not have Madara want to kill me?" Bai Mu racked his brains; he had no intention of being a disposable transmigrator.

Then he noticed a detail...

From Madara’s seat, the first thing he would see upon opening his eyes was...

A lump of flesh, shaped like a man, cultivated from Hashirama Senju’s cells...