Chapter 34: Tension

“You all wait here. I’ll be right back,” Hakumu said, standing up and heading toward the cave.

“Lord Roshi, are you sure you don’t need any help?”

“Hmph. If you want to feel the scorching heat of molten lava, you’re welcome to join me,” Hakumu snorted coldly.

“No, no, no!” Sanhe shook his head wildly. He had no intention of being roasted alive and sent back to the village.

Hakumu scratched the creature clinging to his back—Afei—who immediately transformed into four flaming, crimson-tailed beast tails, writhing chaotically behind him.

“With a tailed beast out, those three brats will be caught without a struggle.” Sanhe’s heart leapt with joy. If he could extract the secrets of this technique through interrogation, his achievements would be significant. He might even earn the right to learn it himself. With such a secret technique, perhaps he could become an elite jonin, return to the village, marry the girl next door, and walk the path to the peak of life. The thought was more than a little exciting.

…

Inside the cave, three people leaned against the rocky wall, battered and dejected, exchanging broken sentences.

“This time, things look really grim… Mother… I want to go home.” Tears streamed down Ebisu’s face.

“Don’t lose hope! Youth will not end so easily here. Once I recover my strength, I’ll lead you both out!” In the darkness, Might Guy flashed a radiant smile, his teeth gleaming white.

“I believe in your strength, Guy… but with the two of us, it’ll be hard to break through,” Genma Shiranui said gloomily.

“Don’t be ridiculous! I would never leave you behind!” Guy clenched his fist tightly.

“Guy… If I die here, would you grant my last wish?” Ebisu wiped his tears.

“Tell me! I’ll make it happen—as long as I survive.”

“Promise me… Before my mom cleans my room, burn all the magazines I’ve hidden in my closet. Don’t let her see them. Burn them at my grave!” Ebisu gripped Guy’s hand desperately.

“Is this the most precious memory of Ebisu’s youth…?”

“That’s right!”

Footsteps echoed through the silent cave—was it the Iwagakure ninja coming to attack?

“Ha! Leaf Village… Dynamic Entry!” Might Guy launched a flying kick toward the cave entrance.

“What the—lost a dog!” Hakumu, startled by the kick, grabbed Parker and flung him toward Guy.

“Guy! Wait, don’t! It’s me, Parker!” Parker yelled.

“Huh? Parker?” Guy’s kick halted abruptly in midair, and he caught Parker as they landed.

“We’re here to rescue you…” Parker was nearly scared out of his wits.

“What! Reinforcements? Where?” Ebisu rushed out, only to see “Roshi” with four tails swirling behind him. He nearly burst into tears from fright.

“Shh! It’s me, Hakumu. Transformation Jutsu, understand?” Hakumu’s voice shifted back to his own.

“Ah… it’s you?” Ebisu never imagined their savior would be this notorious cross-dressing maniac.

“What, you don’t want to leave? You can stay here if you like.” Hakumu picked his nose nonchalantly.

“Let’s go! Let’s go! So, how do we get back?” Ebisu, grasping at his lifeline, was desperate.

“First, we need to make a lot of noise, as if we’re fighting. Then I’ll pretend I’ve captured you and take you out,” Hakumu said, glancing at Guy.

“No problem! The Eight Gates: Gate of Life—Open!” A dazzling green chakra burst from Guy, illuminating the entire cave brighter than a torch, as he unleashed a barrage of wild kicks at the stone pillars.

…

“It’s starting! It’s starting! As expected of Lord Roshi—he forced that secret technique right from the start!” Sanhe was beside himself with excitement as green light spilled from the cave.

…

“This isn’t intense enough. When a tailed beast fights, it shakes the heavens and earth. Let’s all get involved,” Hakumu said, lying on the ground and beginning to do sit-ups.

Genma and Ebisu started performing Fire Style techniques, breathing flames to raise the cave’s temperature, simulating a battle with lava release.

With the bonus from “King’s Heroic Passion,” Hakumu worked up a sweat, a cloud of masculine energy radiating from him. With no women present, the effect should have reached its 75% limit. Yet, to his surprise, he felt it could go even higher.

Looking up, he met Might Guy’s blazing, almost devouring gaze.

“What are you doing…” Hakumu swallowed nervously.

“Hakumu…” Guy’s eyes roamed unabashedly over Hakumu’s entire body.

“Guy, don’t… Don’t destroy my image of youth,” Hakumu said, covering his rear nervously.

“Hakumu! Please, no matter what, teach me this body-forging technique! I’m willing to offer the Eight Gates in exchange! I beg you!” Guy knelt heavily before him.

“Oh, so that’s what you mean…” Hakumu let out a sigh of relief. “I’ll teach you when we get back.”

“King’s Heroic Passion” really did count as a physical training method. Though it appeared to be simple sit-ups, the chakra moved with each motion, stimulating all the meridians and acupoints throughout the body.

But as for the Eight Gates, for a slacker like himself… it might be less useful than a cross-dressing technique. After all, mastering the Eight Gates required immense training, and Hakumu knew he lacked the thick eyebrows and iron will to endure that.

“Thank you so much, Hakumu!” Guy bowed deeply once more, overcome with excitement.

The four of them continued to make as much noise as possible in the cave. After ten minutes—

“That should be enough. Pretend to pass out; I’ll tie you up,” Hakumu said, wiping his sweat. Afei, now transformed into beast tails, wrapped around the three and hoisted them onto Hakumu’s back.

Exiting the cave, Sanhe immediately ran over, eyes shining. Seeing “Roshi” with three captives, he nodded repeatedly and pointed at Guy. “That’s him! The secret technique is on him!”

He glanced at Ebisu and Genma. “But these two don’t seem special. We might as well kill them here.”

Ebisu, playing unconscious, broke into a cold sweat.

“Hmph. Do I need you to tell me how to do my job?” Hakumu shot him a cold glance.

“Forgive me, Lord Roshi!” Sanhe started sweating bullets.

“Hmph!” Hakumu snorted and strode out of the camp with his captives in tow.

“Safe travels, Lord Roshi!” The group watched him leave, all breathing a sigh of relief. This old codger had a truly rotten temper.

Ebisu and Genma also breathed easy at last, feeling as though they were waking from a dream, finally free of danger.

But Hakumu suddenly paused. The mission felt too simple, too uneventful—something was missing.

“L-Lord Roshi?” Sanhe tensed.

“Hey, you lot, would you like to witness me in my prime, see my full battle strength?” Hakumu tilted his head slightly, revealing the profile of a true master.

“Huh?” Sanhe was baffled.

“In thanks for your hospitality, I’ll let you watch my next battle. If you have the courage, follow me.” A faint smirk curled Hakumu’s lips as he hauled his three prisoners and dashed toward the Land of Fire.