Chapter 41: Why Aren't You Dead Yet?

"Xiangji has always had a dream, as everyone knows—she wants to go to the Hidden Leaf and become a ninja. If you could make that happen, she might just have a real chance..." Yuba shot Baimu a mischievous smile.

"I was kicked out of the Leaf myself. Is that place really so wonderful?" Baimu nudged one of the empty cups on the table. Each was filthy and greasy, so off-putting at a glance that he had no desire to drink from any of them.

"Here, we've got missing-nin from every village under the sun—except for a single one from the Leaf. Everyone knows that place is a paradise, and everyone knows the only way to get there is to be reborn." Yuba gestured at the motley crowd in the tavern.

Sure enough, there were all sorts of headbands—there were even Mist ninja, their fanged grins glinting in the gloom. But not a single Leaf headband could be found.

"I have no interest in being some expendable pawn, used and then discarded," Baimu said with a wry smile. He certainly didn't believe a white lotus could blossom out of mud. A girl raised in these circumstances could never be so innocent; otherwise, she’d have long since perished.

"Wow! If Xiangji heard you say that, she’d be heartbroken," Yuba spread his hands in mock despair.

Baimu simply picked up a bottle and took a swig straight from the neck. A rich, malty aroma filled his mouth and throat. It wasn't exactly fine drinking—more like dark beer, with a heavy, unrefined flavor. Still, the proprietor was honest: for all he'd charged, at least he hadn't watered it down.

"I wouldn't dare drink it like that," Yuba said, grabbing a grimy cup and giving it a half-hearted wipe with an even filthier shirt before filling it to the brim. "One belch and the taste is ruined." A frothy head mushroomed atop the cup.

With a single gulp, foam filled Yuba’s mouth. Those watching picked up their own cups, eyes fixed on him as he drank, as though they might taste the brew vicariously.

"Burp..." Baimu let out a long belch. The beer's aroma mingled with the tavern's jumble of smells, drawing despairing gazes from the crowd. They sucked in the air as if lost in fields of golden barley, though what they mostly inhaled was the stench of feet.

"If the beer is so pricey, what are they all drinking?" Baimu asked, curious, peering into their cups.

"Bah! Who knows which bastard invented it—mix poisonous mushrooms with horse urine, add some sugar, let it ferment three days, then water it down and chill it. The flavor is intense and there's a slight hallucinogenic kick. Disgusting, but weirdly, it tastes good!" Yuba wiped his mouth.

"Ugh..." Baimu nearly vomited.

The crowd soon lost interest in watching others drink. They had their own amusements: arm wrestling, brawling, gambling, or swapping lewd jokes.

"All right, now tell me about Kakuzu," Baimu said, glancing at the crowd, who had returned to their pursuits. He lowered his voice.

"You really want to talk about such a buzzkill when you're finally having fun?" Yuba looked annoyed.

Baimu reached for the bottle.

"Fine, fine, I’ll tell you." Yuba quickly shoved the bottle under the table, then gestured grandly. "He’s a demon—a demon that can’t be killed, prowling the darkness, always alone. No one dares speak his name. Children are too scared to cry when they hear it. Some say he has three heads and six arms. Some say he’s not even human..."

"Enough already, just say it plainly. Are you trying to scare thirteen-year-olds?" Baimu waved impatiently.

"But I like the atmosphere!" Deidara looked so startled his hair nearly stood on end.

"Ahem... This Kakuzu fellow, he always carries a little notebook, stuffed with bounty orders for every missing-nin in the ninja world. He remembers every single one. Once he sets his sights on you, no one escapes him alive."

"This town of ours, No-Gods Town, most of us are refugees from the villages. We’ve done good and bad in our time. Who here doesn’t have a few bounties on their head?"

"A clever rabbit doesn’t eat the grass near its burrow. We’re all here in search of a quiet life—we’ve no home anywhere else in the world, so this is the only one we’ve got. There’s an unspoken rule: nobody kills anyone here to claim a reward."

"Break that rule, and it’s chaos. You kill me, I kill you—no one will ever sleep soundly again. We’d all be doomed—no place left for us on earth. So, even if I starve, even if I freeze to death outside, even if the drunk beside me is worth a fortune and I could kill him with a fart, I still wouldn’t think of turning him in for the bounty!"

"But this Kakuzu—he doesn’t care about any of that. He only cares about money. If you’re worth a reward, he’ll kill you, even his own mother. Every time he comes to town, it’s panic and pandemonium. We’re all terrified. Just hearing his name is like seeing a ghost." Yuba sipped his beer, shaking his head.

"Have you never thought of killing him?" Baimu asked, curious.

"Of course we have! We even took up a collection! Put his picture and a bounty up at the exchange. Folks from several towns chipped in—a full ten million ryo! Want to guess what happened?" Yuba slapped the table.

"No one dared take the job?" Baimu guessed.

"Guess again!"

"Everyone who went after him was killed?"

"Heh, you’d never guess." Yuba smiled mysteriously, lowering his voice. "He went to the exchange, saw his own bounty..."

"He cut off his own head, put it on the table, and claimed the reward!"

"Hah! Truly worthy of the great Kakuzu!" Baimu cried, taking a long swig of beer.

"And the key is, he calmly took the money, picked up his head, and walked off! Since then, no one has dared provoke him. We keep our distance if we can." Yuba glanced uneasily out the window, as if the demon truly lurked in the darkness.

Kakuzu was immortal—unless all five of his hearts were destroyed, losing his head was nothing.

"So, where can I find him?" Baimu asked.

"You’re really going to look for him? He’ll kill you!" Yuba protested.

"Trust me, he’s not so terrifying. In fact, he’s rather cute," Baimu replied with a relaxed smile.

"Cute... You call that monster, who cuts off his own head for money, cute? You never even used that word for Xiangji! You pervert!" Yuba gaped in disbelief.

"Just tell me if you can find him—there’ll be a reward," Baimu said, hefting his purse, still bulging with the money Obito had given him.

"Uh..." Yuba still hesitated. If word got out that he’d led Kakuzu to No-Gods Town, he’d never survive here again.

Baimu was in no hurry. He sipped his beer, jingling his purse, waiting for Yuba to decide.

"Excuse me, friend... Sorry, we overheard your conversation. But we’re looking for Kakuzu as well..." A young man in a black cloak had appeared at the next table, unnoticed.

As if someone had pulled the plug on a radio, the tavern's raucous din vanished in an instant, leaving a silence as profound as the grave.

Baimu turned to see a handsome, cheerful youth with short orange hair smiling at him. Behind him stood a blue-haired girl and a red-haired boy.

"What the—! How are you still alive?" Baimu exclaimed.