Chapter Six: Soliciting Prostitutes Everywhere

The power of the Spiral White Zetsu was called Parasitic Armor. The Spiked White Zetsu, on the other hand, wielded the ability of Fusion, capable of devouring other living beings to gain their unique powers.

The lightning release burst into dazzling, swirling lights, and the air vibrated with sharp, rhythmic electronic music. Surrounded on all sides, Shiroki and the Spiral White Zetsu stood face to face with Madara Uchiha, each raising a hand in tandem.

"Let the dance begin!"

A song that wrenches the heartstrings—a friend in a faraway place is so hard to find. Fearing that exuberance would rouse Madara, who had been dormant for so long, the Spiral White Zetsu kept his movements gentle.

In his previous life, Shiroki had dabbled in dance as well. Guided by him, the two began a tango, moving in sync with the pounding electronic beat. Yet, as Madara’s body loosened up, the Spiral White Zetsu grew bolder, and the Spiked White Zetsu’s lights and music became increasingly wild.

The system, meanwhile, began to throw out peculiar new challenges: the ghost step, the robot, the breakdance… The movements grew ever more exaggerated.

Thirty minutes passed.

"You can stop now," Shiroki finally breathed a sigh of relief.

After decades of suffocating monotony, cooped up in this underground base with a humorless Madara Uchiha, the Spiral White Zetsu was at the peak of excitement, determined to end the performance in the most triumphant fashion.

Thus—Madara Uchiha executed a flawless 360-degree spinning split, landing with a thud.

Madara’s eyes flew open.

The air in the underground base plummeted to freezing, and a bead of cold sweat trickled down Shiroki’s forehead.

"Madara… Lord Madara, let me explain… we were just helping you stretch out a bit, we were worried…" The Spiral White Zetsu was trembling from head to toe, collapsing to the ground like a pile of glue, inching away from Madara in terror.

"This long-lost heat in my veins… It’s as if I’ve just fought a glorious battle… Was it the dance?" Madara flexed his newly loosened joints, clenching his fists with force.

Shiroki let out a long breath. As expected from the King of Dance in the Leaf Village—if you enjoy dancing, just say so! He had been on edge for nothing.

"Ah, ah… Lord Madara won’t blame us for acting on our own, will he?" the Spiral White Zetsu asked, scrambling to his feet.

"You did well. But what I seek is not this fleeting vitality, but eternal power. Leave me. My limited life should not be squandered on such things," Madara intoned, shuffling his aged body toward his stone throne.

"Yes, Lord Madara! To serve you is our life’s greatest honor! To please you is the sole purpose of our existence! Farewell, Lord Madara! Sleep well, Lord Madara!" the Spiral White Zetsu declared, snapping a crisp salute.

Before Madara could sink back into slumber, the Spiral White Zetsu lunged forward, throwing his arms tightly around Shiroki.

"Kid, your idea was brilliant! Since the day we were born, Lord Madara has never praised us, never understood us. He only ever belittles our carefully prepared jokes with the harshest words," the Spiral White Zetsu sobbed, clutching Shiroki.

"But today… today he actually praised us… He actually praised us… Shiro, Mama loves you! Boohoohoo…" The Spiral White Zetsu broke down in tears.

"Uh… there’ll be more chances in the future…" Shiroki patted him on the back, trying to comfort him.

"From today forth! Shiroki, I bestow upon you a lifelong glorious mission—and that is… to please Lord Madara! From now on, you are Lord Madara’s comic servant!" The Spiral White Zetsu pounded Shiroki’s shoulder with determination.

"I’m a man," Shiroki replied, feigning a roguish sneer.

"Then you’re the comic manservant!"

"…"

[Spiral White Zetsu’s favorability +500]

[Spiral White Zetsu’s favorability: Head over heels—in full]

[New Quest: Entertain Madara Uchiha 1/3]

[Reward: Grant Spiral White Zetsu a Hero Template]

"Wait… System, what’s with this favorability? What happens when it maxes out?" Shiroki asked, bewildered.

"It means… you can do whatever~ you want~," the system whispered, blowing hot breath into his ear.

"Can you be serious for once! Who would ever have wicked thoughts about a White Zetsu?" Shiroki shuddered, goosebumps prickling his skin.

"Just as it says. Need me to find you a legal expert for a translation?" The system, both scornful and reluctantly diligent, explained: "By forging bonds and completing favorability quests, the character can equip a hero template suited to them, making them even stronger."

"But… what’s the point? The Spiral White Zetsu is already pretty strong. In this state, he’d probably never refuse anything I ask, right?" Shiroki asked in confusion.

"Heh, now we get into the ‘No Leeching Mechanic.’ If you and Spiral White Zetsu kill a ninja together, the system will only grant you half, or even less, of the rewards depending on your performance. If you complete the favorability quest, you’ll receive the full reward."

"Given your limited intelligence, let me put it plainly: if you and Spiral White Zetsu kill Parker, and all you do is stand by and cheer, you’d normally get 100 gold, but this way, you’ll only get 10," the system replied with utter disdain.

Shiroki’s face twisted as if he’d been forced to eat Parker’s droppings.

"Can’t be helped—our entire purpose is to entertain the audience. If you just piggyback on someone else’s strength and crush everyone, the audience won’t be happy. If they’re not happy, our creator doesn’t profit, and if there’s no profit, we’ll end up as miserable as the protagonist from the creator’s last world…"

"So, for our happiness and to keep our audience satisfied, you’d better put on a good show, my friend!"

For the first time, the system confided in Shiroki.

"Could it be… my existence is merely a delusion, a product of someone’s idle imagination? That at any moment, I could be erased if they wished?" Shiroki’s face turned ashen.

"Brother, sometimes ignorance is bliss. Don’t overthink it," the system said, patting his shoulder with an invisible hand.

"Then could you at least let me draw Yasuo to soothe my empty soul?" Shiroki seized the opportunity to make a request.

"Dream on, orphan!" the system snorted. The skill-draw roulette appeared, now sporting a Ban slot—Yasuo’s portrait was crossed out in red.

"Seriously? We’re in this together, grasshoppers under the same roof, do you have to be so cruel? All I want is a little happiness, is that so wrong?" Shiroki despaired as he spun the wheel.

"When you’ve saved up 6,300 gold, I’ll sell him to you," the system sneered.

[Ding!]

"Do you want to be a coward for life, or a real man for five seconds?"

"Tryndamere, the Barbarian King."

"System, I’m a ninja, not a street-swinging maniac. What’s the point of giving me Tryndamere? Is this some kind of jab at my manhood?" Shiroki spammed question marks.

"Skills are being drawn…" the system feigned death.

[Skill Acquired: Mocking Shout]

Mocking Shout: Through verbal insult and a scornful gaze, inflict a chicken-shiver effect on enemies, reducing nearby foes’ combat effectiveness; duration and strength vary with context.

[Note: If there’s a significant power gap and the skill is used carelessly, it can double the enemy’s fighting power.]

[Note: Now you can call chickens anytime, anywhere!]

Shiroki shut the interface with a blank face. "Good morning, everyone—system excluded."

[New Quest: Go to Sea]

[Quest Objective: A true warrior cannot cower in an underground base under mama’s protection. Leave this place and embark on your journey!]

[Freebie Reward: Randomly draw a hero skill]

"This really is a freebie," Shiroki murmured, genuinely excited for the first time.