Chapter Fifty-Six: Hulk Doesn't Like Being Friends with You

“Brother, be careful—these Earthlings are after the Cosmic Cube.”
Loki appeared promptly behind Thor, deliberately emphasizing the word “Earthlings” while signaling for Thor to step forward.
He also launched into a display of brotherly affection.
“What? These Earthlings…”
Once again, Thor’s intellect went offline.
“Yes, Thor, I’ve already found the culprits—it’s them.”
Loki raised his hand to indicate the previous location, preparing to have his “brother” Thor reclaim their standing.
Kel’Thuzad stood there, nodding elegantly to both Loki and Thor, a terrifying smile on his face, while Roald’s figure had already vanished without a trace.
“For Asgard!”
Spinning Mjolnir in his hand, Thor charged straight at Kel’Thuzad.
As the God of Hammers—no, the God of Thunder—Thor’s combat abilities in theory should have been lightning, but he used his hammer far more often, always forgetting that he could naturally unleash a hundred thousand volts of electricity.
Perhaps, so long as he didn’t lose his hammer, he would never truly grow up. He knew only to rely on his beloved hammer, cherishing it even more than his duty as the God of Thunder.
But now, the aura emanating from Kel’Thuzad made Thor feel a tremendous threat, as if he’d suddenly matured and remembered to use tactics.
He leapt into the air, and with a voice that made earpieces explode, roared,
“Let me show you the consequences of provoking the God of Thunder!”
Lightning surged, sparks exploded, and amidst the writhing snakes of electricity, he raised Mjolnir with both hands and smashed down toward Kel’Thuzad.
Everyone watching the scene instinctively gaped in astonishment.
“Oh, not bad!”
But the spot where Kel’Thuzad stood wasn’t directly struck by the hammer. Instead, Kel’Thuzad waved amiably at Thor and, with a mocking tone, offered his praise.
Thor, still bewildered with everyone else, redirected his lightning at an angle toward Vikarn, and the bolts, trailing long tails, abruptly changed direction and shot after him.
“Oh, shit, I hate this—why is it always me who gets hit first?!”
“When you ride a Deathcharger, it’s your fate as a tank—you can’t escape it.”
Grommash immediately piled on.
The moment Thor charged at him, he activated his Phantom Step, soared into the sky on his Deathcharger, raised his greatsword in his right hand to guard his back, and switched to Blood Runes, assuming a perfect defensive stance to absorb the impact.
When Thor landed again, lightning crackled across his body, stray arcs burning deep black scars into the ground and gouging out trenches.
Zazira floated above, watching the spectacle, while the surging electricity made Rogers hop from one foot to the other.
From the moment Thor and Loki appeared, the Captain felt the plot slip out of his grasp. The entire time, he was left wondering, “Who am I? What am I doing? Who are my enemies? Who am I supposed to fight? Should I switch to a better gun?”
“What the hell is this guy discharging everywhere, and what’s with that skeleton thing over there? Why aren’t they attacking me? Who are all these people who just showed up, and why can’t my shield fire lasers?”

A cascade of questions flooded Rogers’ mind, leaving him doubting his life and utterly baffled.
Aside from him, the others’ fighting styles were dazzling—energy blasts flying everywhere, beams of light streaking across the field, lightning and runic flares crisscrossing like a light show.
He stood to the side, looking at his shield, so plain and devoid of special effects, then raised his unremarkable assault rifle. He felt like a farm boy from rural Mississippi, suddenly standing in the heart of bustling Wall Street, awash in discomfort and self-doubt.
Compared to the chaotic melee around him, he felt as if the era itself had become absurd, and he no longer belonged in the same dimension as these combatants.
He was at a loss for what to do.
Not only could people now fly at will, but even those on horseback could soar freely through the sky. Feeling out of his depth, Rogers immediately contacted Nick Fury.
“Fury…”
He said the name, but didn’t know how to continue, hesitating.
He was, after all, a symbol of America, representing the will of freedom, but now he didn’t know how to call for backup.
“Captain, I understand—no need to say anything. We’ll get through this together. If there’s a chance, I’ll urge Stark to hurry to the scene. As for those two Asgardians—they’re here at my request.”
It didn’t help much with the battle, but Fury’s words gave Rogers a measure of relief. He raised his shield, preparing to draw Zazira’s attention again, when a furious shout from above and a car flying toward him caught his notice.
“Hulk!”
The Green Giant was hurling a car straight at him.
Rogers compared their strengths and immediately curled up behind his shield, rolling out of the car’s path and ducking into the ruins of a building, patting his chest.
Hulk cared nothing for fair play, attacking without warning, ignoring the fact that Rogers was an old man.
“Hey, big guy, not bad—smash harder! Yes, just like that!”
Meanwhile, Loki, unaware of his impending misfortune, was thoroughly enjoying the chaos. As a spectator, he began to cheer for everyone—except Thor—without discrimination.
Sensing Loki rooting for him, Hulk turned to look.
He didn’t like this little green man who matched his own hue.
“Hulk…”
He glanced around, picked up a brick, and threw it at Loki, then bared his teeth and charged at him like a wild beast.
Loki, caught up in his cheering, didn’t react in time—Hulk closed in and seized him by the right leg.
Loki’s face was a mask of terror.
“Oh no, big guy, you can’t do this—we should be friends…”
Hulk grinned, then swung Loki back and forth, slamming him repeatedly into the ground, gouging out seven or eight massive craters.
“ROAR!!!”
Finished, Hulk tossed Loki aside without a second glance at Loki’s look of utter despair, then roared at Thor and Grommash before charging at them.
The commotion from Hulk tossing Loki was impossible to ignore, so Vikarn immediately dodged, while Thor and Grommash, locked in combat, instinctively broke off and put distance between themselves.
“Oh, what is that thing?”

Thor was amazed by Hulk.
“That guy in green just called you brother?”
Grommash was preoccupied with something else.
“No, he’s my cousin, not by blood.”
Thor immediately denied it.
As the Green Giant charged toward them, Grommash gripped his axe and took a deep breath.
Thor eyed his actions in confusion, but Hulk’s reaction soon revealed Grommash’s intent.
“Hulk!”
The Green Giant, brimming with rage, raised his fists and roared.
“ROAR!”
Grommash answered with a roar that Hulk found all too familiar.
In mid-charge, Hulk skidded to a halt, his feet carving deep furrows in the ground, demolishing swathes of rubble as he stopped.
“Hulk… Hulk doesn’t like you…”
To everyone’s astonishment, Hulk then moved with incredible speed, leaping thirty or forty meters onto a high-rise like a comet, passing right by the newly arrived Stark and landing in the distance with a resounding crash.
“Jarvis, what was that? Why does he look so green and familiar?”
“Sir, do you recall the Green Giant from Queens?”
“You mean that big guy just now?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Jarvis, what BGM would fit? It’s my turn to take the stage.”
“Sir, I suggest you head home for dinner.”
“Shit! I’ve lost my moment in the spotlight again.”
“Dragging things out was to keep Peter out of the fight, but you’ve missed your chance for glory.”
“I know, Jarvis, but that’s what I wanted. He’s a good kid, you know.”
“Yes, sir, I know.”
Thor stared, wide-eyed, at the Hulk, startled that a single roar from Grommash had scared him off.
Kel’Thuzad slowly vanished into a mist of frost, leaving only a spine-chilling, drawn-out laugh in everyone’s ears.
The obelisk disappeared, and the shroud over the battlefield faded away.